My association with HelpAge India bagged me a chance to attend a conference at the India International Centre on the occasion of World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. HelpAge was to report the findings of a survey conducted in many cities across the nation to bring out the true state of elderly. The revelations were rather disturbing.
A massive 23% of the elderly, which implies almost every 5th senior
citizen of the country is a victim of elder abuse which is prevalent in
the form of verbal, physical and even sexual abuse! Not only this, a high percentage of abuse occurs in well educated and well off families residing in developed cities. The causes of abuse are property, maladjustment within the family, and high medicare and attention requirements of the elderly to name a few. The leading perpetrators of elderly abuse are the daughters-in-law, the sons being the first runner up. Several other disturbing facts and figures were revealed by Mr Mathew Cherian, the CEO of HelpAge.
I remember my childhood days, when every morning, me and my siblings would leave for school only after taking the blessings of our Grandparents, albeit in a rush! Dawns and dusks were drowned in Grandma's hymns of 'Om Jai Jagdish Hare'. Every little festival in the hindi calender, every birthday/anniversary and during my college days, even every visit home, was marked by special traditional dishes like doli roti, churi k laddoos, maalpuras etc made by Grandma and extra long prayers led by Grandpa.
The problem of elder abuse has seeped into the urban population to an extent that one may easily conclude the decay and nearing demise of Indian family traditions and the joint family system on the whole. At the conference, it was disheartening to hear the dismay of people living in various old age homes.
The audience were mostly people working for the cause or
the victims of elder abuse. I was among the very few not so senior a
citizen in the audience. The guest of honor was Former Chief Justice Leila Seth, who is also the mother of Vikram Seth, the author of 'Vikram Seth- A Suitable Boy'. It was amusing to see the all so intellectual Leila Seth carrying a bag that read-"A Suitable Bag". At 82, she addressed the issue from a very practical and young perspective. For instance, on daughters-in-law being projected as the typical saas-bahu serial vamps, she pointed out that its a mental block and we need to take the son's responsibility into consideration. On the rise in number of elder abuse cases, she boldly put forth that no person is bad to the core, its a two way road and the elderly need to understand the challenges faced by the youth as much as the youth needs to understand the problems of the elderly.
At high tea, i got a chance to exchange a smalltalk with Justice Leila
Seth. But i would say the real high was to watch the elderly, by which i
mean the REALLY ELDERLY guests from different old age homes, challenging
their digestion by munching on cholle bhature and pastries and chocolate
ice cream.
Later that evening, we were walking by the notice board when a couple of guests caught our attention.
One old aunty g asked the old uncle g :-"Ap konse old age home se hain?"
Old uncle g:- "G main..main batata hu muje zara ek minute dijiye.."
He tried to recall for a few seconds, then with an embarrassing shrug he struggled to fetch his phone from his pocket and then struggled further to open the drafts in it.
Finally he said, passing his phone to the old aunty g:- " G ye wala"
To this the Old aunty g smiled :-"Oh fir to acha hai. Baat ye hai ki main yahaan afford nahi kr sakti..."
Perhaps its time we, the youth, set our values right and work to provide for the dignity and ability of the silver-haired head, which according to the Bible is a crown of glory, the glory of having seen the world a tad longer. After all, its just a matter of time, we shall have to wear the same crown, and see this world which is our own creation, through meek, wrinkled eyes and a blurry vision.
